Went to study today wif terry and nich.... c.maths revision done.. programming halfway through. think after tml lecture i shld be ready since it's open book test. wad's wed test i wonder.. hmm... web design i think.. wtf so many things to revise for that.. guess i will start web design tml. den com arch sat and lastly, iiso on sunday. i am getting better at all sub except for web design coz not been revising that at all.. after all those studying played tennis.. weird feeling.. guess i have yet to get over it... damnn.... this sucks, as usual.

can't fake my sorrow.

{/8:21 PM}

and so i got kicked out of the tennis team. dun feel great.. it sucks totally the feeling... i shld have expected this but it still hurts alot man..... damnn.. i shall be strong and come back for training after the tournament and fight for the top11 nxt year.

it sucks.. everything in my life currently suck....

{/11:55 PM}

ytd went kovan mc early in the morning.. supposed to do my wds proposal.. lol didnt do at all.. i am soo dead.. tml's the deadline. i dun wanna fail.. hmm.. exams nxt wk and i am not prepared lol. com arch.. programming, business function and web design.. alot things to memorise sia.. c.maths needa revise.. cannot under estimate it.. needa rush my proposal tonight.. crap sia.. my laptop cant capture screen.. hope my desktop can!

today after sch went meet up wif del at town. lol almost dozed off while waiting for her.. so damn tired.. after that sat cab to serangoon garden to have jap food!(wad's the pt of asking me to go town to wait for u -_-) hope i can do finish my proposal by tonight.. all those scanning and editing.. sian.... mayb tml den do my screen design =x

{/8:00 PM}

so i went for pirates ytd. overall not that nice -_- i onli like the fighting part ha.... nvm den after that didnt go marina bay coz it was late. we went chomp chomp instead! =) so long nv gone to thr to eat. ate quite alot haha. den after that jr father sent us home... sigh sigh sigh... sometimes i love being alone for awhile but it kinda makes me think of alot stupid things... damn....

time is running out for me...today's training sucks... i suck............. i am gna get kicked out of the team soon....

i just got started on my web design proposal.. i am so dead.. deadline tuesday.. i done the easy part like the objectives blah blah.. i am left wif screen design, research findings and research web sites.. i am so screwed.....

{/10:04 PM}

ytd tennis was crap LOL. plaayed catching -_- coz of the stupid rain... haha.. damn funny.. the area we played were the sports complex+tennis court. tp students shld noe say small not small say big not big uh ha! some funny thing happened.. like 1 guy climbing up the dunno wad thingy and the catcher followed suit? den another.. rran ard the track wif 3catchers running from diff direction.. the most hilarious one was... driving away in a car LOL. that idiot haha.. drove hes car away lol...

going pirates now! after that it's steam to celebrate nich's birthday. shall update later! =)

{/6:11 PM}

slept for the whole day today after blogging.. can't sleep so decided to blog lol. but dunno wad to type........... hmmmmmm..... well u r seriously pissing my off so much.. stop trying to act like u noe everything.. stop acting u r good at this at that coz u seriously suck.. so u think u r good? look at ur result be4 u try to open ur foul mouth, irritant. u shall feel depressed soon when u lose to me and u shld, 'hardworking' ass. i gna ace it. u gna struggle. and i enjoy watching u struggle. it gives me the excitement. onli towards u i feel this way,this shows... u suck! Wonder why such guy existed at all.. he sucks so much..

{/12:45 AM}

today damn lame lol. went school early in the morning. reached at 7am and slept till 740? went for apel. den half of the class decided to skip com arch to go movie! LOl damn stupid.. go sch for 1hr onli, esp sher dion LOL. he reached sch at 9am. he came sch in the end he didnt attend any lessons at all. we watched Next. ok not bad.. storyplot not bad onli the ending super lame... overall not a bad movie. after that went national lib alone to find justin timberlake's books! but onli 1 lar.. was hoping for BOOKS. like at least 2? crap. zzzzzz.. gotta hand in wds proposal nxt wk and i am still wif nothing.. gotta chiong over the wkend i guess.. there goes my wkend.. but can't wait for friday! pirates =)

be4 i forget bout it.. happy birthday nich.. 7years old already, dun so childish anymore =x

{/3:30 PM}

today lessons nothing much to talk bout. just that c.maths, full marks for sure. not trying to be arrogant here but it's so damn easy and i double checked it. but cant concentrate lar wtf.. kept on careless during c.maths lecture, even during test. luckily double checked.. 13-8= 3. that's wad i got. 1 1 i can see it as 11. alot more lar wtf man. even press calculator also press wrongly. dun wanna say the reason. training. i think i am not gna make it to the top15. well i suck big time. the great depression is coming soon.. such a cold and lonely night on the way home... but guess i am used to it already. luckily i still have frens. i mean true frens. dun wana name who. they noe. i noe. (:

lately dun feel like using msn.. i meant not as often as last time.. i dunno why just feeling so down.. but guess i still cant stand the temptation so yup, u can still see me online lol.. guess will be lesser and lesser soon.. and i am so addicted to avril's songs and thanks for the memories hah!

I'm not okay.

{/11:10 PM}

ohh finally met up wif ken. .after wks i guess. chatted wad else but love stuff =) went town. accompanied him to watch spiderman3. wtf 3rd time watching. dude u owe me 140mins =x den went to buy my bag from royal sporting@ ngee ann city. oh it's black not white! tot that wld suit me more coz my rac is more of black and i am getting Ksurge(similar to my rac)

end of dayy

{/12:57 AM}

i am reali so confused... think i found.. but i am soo scared =( past experiences make me even more scared.. haiz...... wad shld i do? shld i ? i wan to but i dunno! =(

i think i have adapted to night training? today's training so freaking hot =( i cant play well.. i am struggling so much. man.. tot i am improving.. but my volley improving. i can play doubles wif much confidence now =)

i wan that white wilson bag.. shld i get it?

{/8:04 PM}

todatoday damn tiring lar... i am still struggling wif my studies except c.maths.. zzz. damn. Today ccn day. incase u dunno wad's that. It's like a class setting up a stall and selling wadeva they wan. all freshies class must do! didnt help much, or rather nv help at all. sry guys =( somemore still zhao early LOL. wth.. nvm reali damn damn tired man..

This path i chose. i will not regret wadeva the outcome is.. i am trying to set my priorities right now.. wad i told myself be4 entering poly.. i will make sure i stick to it.... :)

{/5:51 PM}

today freaking hell. tot i start sch at 9am. guess wad? 10am. i ended up sitting up like an idiot for 45mins. wtf. freaking piss off. lol. today lessons still ok.. but com arch. think i will fail =( my twin today so damn sad and quiet.. dunno wad to say haiz.. tc ok =)

tennis training.... think i am improving =x but still kinda struggling but think i will get used soon lar... but 4 more trainings be4 the coach selects the top15.. alamak damn scared.. i dun dare dream of being regulars for this year anymore.. but hope i will be selected.. i wanna train.. train train and become a good player=) coach said mayb more will be selected if he deserves to be in.. so yupp.. i will try to push myself more.. all to be a better player! :D

why.... damn..... god....

{/11:37 PM}

alamak.. training.. screwing myself more and more... sigh.. i suck big time... needa reali buck up.... damnn... nowadays reali so damn tired dunno why.. sk asked me that question.. nv reali tot about it.. now will think bout it.. shld i continue? not sure now.. kinda lethargic to do anything other than studies and tennis now.. haiz.... help......

why..... this freaking confusing feeling =(

{/1:05 AM}

finally got my rac done.. the string and the weight..

i am so sick now.. headache and bad stomach upset... dun wanna go sch tml.. but mum kinda reluctant so will go after all i guess.. see how things go tml bah.. tml training too.. hope i can get better soon.. =(

{/8:24 PM}

cruise was super cool =D LOL.

This time cruise wasnt so boring coz del and yuean went too. 1st day was walking ard on my own. walking alone feels great.. i mean once in a while.. can think & reflect alot of stuffs =) 2nd day.. watched prince and me2.. lol lame show.. den after that went library to study c.maths.. after dinner fun time LOL. we went to borrow boardgames to play HAHA. lets see. Jenga.. Uno cards.. Monopoly.. and cluedo! LOl freaking lame.. after that we went to play checkers(the big version) den arcade muhahah. the panic park arcade machine LOL. damn fun lar 1v2 -_- we played like nobody business? lol. play till the chair beside us can fall HA! nxt day both gals kenna bruises=x i have nothing HAHA! that's all =)

Runaway.

{/8:24 PM}

lar haha.woo now on board in virgo as usual =X

today was kinda fun lar haha. start off wif prsp lab. as usual dunno wtf the teacher talking LOL. den after that prsp again.. this time lab.. a dumbdumb yijun beside me LOL. ehh ask me go and be attentive in the end was sms-ing away =X den after that she, joel and me went library to sleep! =X awhile onli but shiock.. ha! seriously to all tp students, wanna study or sleep go to the lib.. it's good.. but find books? nah.. difficult man LOL. den IISO. was chatting wif yijun and looking at handsome and pretty gals on frenster LOL. so bad we din help in researching the thing =x

that's all for today.. tired man.. gna enjoy my trip.. after that it's studies and tennis!

{/7:50 PM}

today skipped Com Arch lecture =X went library to STUDY wif yijun LOL. nv reali study much lar though coz got a dumbdumb wif me =X i am so good k. i bought charger for her and now she owes me a dinner HAHA. anyway tennis from 4-9 today lol. 4-6 was playing wif shawn. after that training freaking tired after all those hitting and physical training.. damn tired... the coach says my positioning sucks. i agree.. must improve on that. and my serves! nxt wk mini-tournament! doubles! partnering wif shawn LOL so much of a coincidence(partners are decided by draw)

tired.. wna sleep already.....

{/11:39 PM}

Today sch was boring.... esp IISO. can die man.. went out of the LT halfway through and kok and weiyi also outside LOL. went to eat ice cream =) wds super fun. ha had fun wif joel(aka john) ben(aka mary p**** d*** LOL) and yijun(aka tyj? &dumbdumb =P) after sch went TM wif joel to buy presents. cant find -_- in the end bought all presents at taka lol. den went celebrate BIRTHDAYS. ya it's birthdays haha. a few girls.. lets see who went.. aloy, aly, carrie, mel, ivy, mother bee, nich, xuan ren and ri yong! went The Mussels Guys to eat. HAHA the "angmoh-hum" fun but tiring day for me =) finally met up wif them so happy.. although din talk much but seeing them are good enough :D

wtf. forgot to buy my skipping rope. i am dead for tml training -_-

{/11:40 PM}

Today training.. shit.. wtf.. about 1.5hrs physical training? and furthermore it's at the starting of the training.. meaning by the time i picked up my rac to hit some balls, majiam no strength LOL. nerves is getting the better of me. tired =( but i will work hard.. but dammit so many strong guys.. top15? arghh gotta reali train hard.. 29th of may.. selection for top15 i think?

gal, get well soon. loves =)

{/11:26 PM}

well today was late.. caused tham to be late wif me.. sry gal! anyway c.math today sucks. the lecturer is teaching rubbish. i cant understand =( com arch i am improving.. good. wds. hmmm dunno. went cut hair today.. supposed to cut short short.. but it's still not shortLOL. heckcare. just hope coach syaful dun say anything bout it. And saw don in the saloon.. didnt call him LOL. dunno why.. so freaking tired.. dun feel like talking.

arghhh.. like wad ken said last night... now i keep thinking bout it man.. when i am in the lecture room.. i look ard.. no familar faces.. except kok and weiyi. whr's nich? whr's qin? darren? 4'C, whr are u! =( lecture finished i walk out, whr's ken? whr's damian? whr's every1 in yyss! =( nv reali tot bout this much till ken said it... haiz.. how true... now other than my class i dunno who to find in tp.. every1 has different timetable. my classmates are good. all good. but well dunno how to explain lar. =( sometimes prefer to walk by my own.. den hopefully some1 i know is having break.. in the process of adapting to poly's life, i seem to have lost the real me. i am not as crappy as ever(but as ever, still shy towards stranger).. onli perhaps to a few of them? but i noe.. i cant communicate well wif majority of them! =( tml start of tennis training.. haiz.. every tuesday&thursday by the time ireached home shld be ard 10+ 11+ already. tiring for me coz i am weak.. but well i am willing to work hard.. talk is cheap. i dun wanna be some1 who only noes how to talk bout my dream but yet dun do anything to realise it. i just hope u can be my source of energy.. sigh....

i dunno i dunno.. no longer noes wd to do..

I always needed time on my own..the days feel like years when I'm alone ..when you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you. When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too.Do you see how much I need you right now? i love u... i'm sure u can sense that. but why i just have the feeling.. the weird feeling... haiz forget it. dun wanan go think too much bout this. just hope this will work out for me.

{/5:23 PM}

today went Sentosa.. well they call it Sch of IT outing but hmm.. ard 50ppl onli? LOL. nvm it's good enough. Didnt reali talk much to them haha. cldnt click? lol mayb just "pure" shyness =X after that went play the lunge wif tham. hahaha fun =) enjoyed my day totally. But well during the outing kept thinking.. oh man.. the fun stops today.. tml onwards serious work.. i needa start studying.. exams on wk5.. this coming wk is wk3.. so yea.. must chiong now to push up my gpa.. den tennis.. hai dun wanna say.. the going gets tough now.. well anyway met ken after that. chatted.. haiz.. dunno wad to do man.. damn.. nvm oh well. went hes hse after that to slack lol. been so long since i last saw him LOL. wanted to cut hair today but well the shop closed for the day -_-.

i miss all those crappy stuff we did and said in 4'C......making lame and cold jokes.. talking stupid things.. all those "shut up" "i nv ask" stupid stuff... making fun of the teachers.. alot more.. i miss all the teachers that i respected in yyss.. i miss all those frens that i made during my yyss life.. i miss the classroom.. the fan that i made spoilt on the 1st day and noone changed it.. those sleeping days.. those maths lessons days..... everything about yyss..i seem to have changed.. i mean i am not so as crappy as i did in yyss.. dunno why.. alamak.. getting so emo here lol..
zzz... suddenly feel so tired.. lethargic. =(

=)

{/10:19 PM}

tot today will be a perfect day. but well, it turned out otherwise.

tennis i screwed up. i lost. 6-0. yea the feeling sucks totally. i noe it's just training and ppl like to say rather make mistakes at training than at match. but it just suck. it just took away the slight confidence i had. i cldnt hit proper shots again and again. i cldnt serve well. i just suck. i am scared.. i dun wanna be kicked out of team come the end of the month when coach selects the top15. well at least i learnt something today. that why i keep screwing my forehand.

I just dun understand? Wad's wif that? hell man. i tot it was cool, all good but, arghh. dun wnna talk bout it.

{/4:06 PM}

trial today. got in the team =) they chose 3 guys onli -_- another trial on tuesday for others but dun think many will be selected. a month later the coach gna cut down the team to 15ppl. stress... and july is the tournament.. brought forward -_-. and the tournament will be held at tp! hope that i can get in the regulars but well, ambitious me huh. ha.

thx sofiah, chan chan, sher dion, leighton and well javius( he left halfway -_- ) for coming to support me! =D

i will work hard! studies.. tennis.. and u! =)

{/11:46 PM}

today lessons oh damn.... com arch lectures and wds tutorial.. cant keep up zz.. i suck.... anyway after sch went cathay watch movie wiif tham. yea hope u enjoyed it =)

Trial tml! but tml long day... wds make up lesson.... so boring.. dammit... like wad our careperson said.. we will start to hate hols.. damn.....

gal u noe? i love u =) the feeling was great.. i enjoyed it very much.. u r the gal for me! =D gonna take my time, dun wana rush into it. hope this will work it out for me! and gal get well soon ok? =)

{/8:56 PM}

hope yet to 12 =X movie-d wif kx terry and nich today. after movie kx&terry went home. nich and i proceeded on to get my adidas short and nike tee! wtf.. walked the whole of town but still can't find! after hrs hrs hrs.. like 4hrs? found it!.. at taka's nike shop! bought nike short in the end.. nice =))

well didnt join the nxt SPEX tournament. felt that i am not ready enough(phe dun miss me this partner k =x) although a little bit sad cause the nxt spex tournament will be like sep.. gre8 it is holidays, provided i dun need come back from sup. it's not holiday anyway for this coming spex tournament must apply for LOA so troublesome! arghh....

{/11:57 PM}

oh great. just received the sms from the tp tennis ppl. trial this coming thursday. good job cow. thx for telling me it's nxt wk and thx, the one who told cow this. wtf. i have yet to teach tham tennis! omg.. screwed up man.....

{/1:26 AM}

Sundday tennis wif ced,nich,apple and terry. lol 5ppl. so 2 courts @ terry's condo. so me and ced continued our game from last thursday(rmb we got chased away?) won the first set 7-5 den lost the second 3-6. today continued our 3rd set.. omg ..wtf the whether.. played ard 3.. freaking hot damn.. we both struggled.. but i won the last sett =x

tml gonna go adidas and get my stuff.. amk hub sucks.. finally went thr to take a look but nothing.. waste of my time z.

hmmmm....

{/1:00 AM}